Success Isn’t a Trophy. It’s a Moving Target (And That’s a Good Thing)

Let’s clear something up right now: success does not come in a one-size-fits-all box. It’s not a checklist. It’s not a timeline. And it’s definitely not your mom’s friend Susan’s Facebook highlight reel.

Somewhere along the way, many of us were sold a very specific version of success: Graduate by this age. Get married by that age. Have kids, a house, a title, a matching furniture set, and somehow look rested while doing it all.

And if your life didn’t unfold in that exact order? Cue the internal panic. “Am I behind?” “Did I miss something?” “Is everyone else winning and I just didn’t get the memo?”

Friend, deep breath. You’re not behind. You’re just living your life.

The Problem With “The One Definition” of Success

Here’s the hard truth we’re going to say with love (and a little sass): success only having one definition is a myth. A loud one. A persistent one. But still a myth.

Not everyone gets married in their twenties. Not everyone has kids or wants to. (Or realizes it was a mistake to not have kids after it is too late to have them. But I digress.)Not everyone dreams of a corner office, a white picket fence, or a perfectly curated life.

And guess what? That doesn’t make anyone less successful.

Success looks different depending on your values, your season, and what actually matters to you. And no, values aren’t the same thing as ethics. Ethics are about right and wrong. Values are about priorities.

Some people value freedom.

Some value stability.

Some value impact.

Some value flexibility, creativity, time, or peace.

None of those are wrong. But living out someone else’s values in your own life? That’s where frustration and burnout live.

Success Isn’t the Designer Bag at the End

We love to chase the “designer bag.” The title. The milestone. The moment where we think we’ll finally feel accomplished.

But here’s the twist: the prize at the end is kind of a false finish line.

Because the real success? It’s who you became while working toward it.

It’s the mornings you jumped out of bed because you had a reason. It’s the confidence you built by pushing yourself. It’s the grit you developed when things got hard and you kept going anyway. It’s the pride you felt knowing you were doing work that mattered to you.

Success isn’t a destination you arrive at and unpack forever. It’s in constant motion. It changes as you change. What success meant to you at 25 might look completely different at 35 or 45, and that’s not failure. That’s growth.

When we treat success like a finish line, we miss the point.

Success is a mindset, not an end game.

Stop Letting Everyone Else Define Your Life

Let’s be honest. Society is loud. Friends mean well. Family has opinions. Moms have lots of opinions.

But here’s the deal: this is your life, your time, your energy.

You don’t owe anyone a version of success that doesn’t fit you. You don’t need permission to redefine what “having it all” looks like.

And as my podcast partner, Mallory Herrin, says, yes, you can have it all. Just not all at the same time.

That’s not a failure. That’s reality.

Some seasons are about building.

Some are about resting.

Some are about chasing dreams.

Some are about simply surviving, and that counts too.

So… What Is Your Definition of Success?

That’s the real question. Not what looks good on Instagram. Not what checks the “should” boxes.

What makes you feel aligned? What gives you energy? What makes you proud when no one else is watching?

Because once you define success for yourself, you stop chasing other people’s finish lines, and you start actually enjoying your life.

3 Key Takeaways

1. Success has more than one definition—and yours matters most. Stop borrowing definitions that don’t fit your life, your values, or your season.

2. Success is not a destination; it’s a mindset. It’s not the trophy at the end, it’s who you become in the process.

3. Living in alignment with your values is success. Your values, your choices, your life. Period.

Bonus :If this hit home and you want more real-world, no-fluff, no-BS conversations about success, mindset, and actually taking action, come hang out with us on the Breakthrough with Mallory and Julie podcast. We’ll make you laugh, challenge your thinking, and maybe lovingly call you out (because growth). 😉

Now go redefine success—on your terms. 💥