These are crazy times. Things can feel so uncertain. So many of us are trying to navigate balancing our new work life with our family life and everything else when the world seems to have become some weird form of blended, happy, scary, overwhelming chaos. We are working from home, so is our spouse, partner, roommate, we are homeschooling our kids or even just entertaining them, we are trying to get our workout done while we feed everyone a healthy meal and keep the house clean and the bills paid—and don’t forget your mask! No wonder why we feel like we are so out of balance.
There must be some magic spell that we can perform — or a pill we can take—something that will bring our lives in to complete balance—some sort of mythical nirvana. Well, forget it. There is no such thing. As a matter of fact, balance is an illusion. The goal is not some perfect, idealistic, fairy tale version of balance in our lives, but rather, finding our own personal harmony.
There are two things to consider the next time you are feeling overwhelmed and out of balance.
First, stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
Get over the “Get it all Done Syndrome.” There are people out there—you might even be one of them—that will beat themselves up, tell themselves how bad they are because they don’t get it all done—“I can’t get it all done… I am so bad… I can’t get it all done…” And then they look around and think “And she is getting it all done…” Then we are bad for being bad at it! Makes it worse.
You need to know that you can never get it all done. No one is getting it all done. Even the people we think are getting it all done are not getting it all done. You are doing something they aren’t doing that is how that works. If in your mind, the only way you will feel successful is if you “get it all done” you will never be successful. It is an unrealistic expectation and horrible for your self-esteem. You need remind yourself it is not about getting it all done it is about getting the right things done. And what is right for you may not be right for someone else. We spend too much time comparing our vision of balance to other people’s vision of balance. What works for them may not work for you. You must be OK with that. Learn to define what balance in your life looks like based on YOUR standards not anyone else’s standards.
Second, stop prioritizing easy and start prioritizing progress.
Balance in our lives doesn’t happen overnight. It is one step at a time. We need to stop looking for big, life changing, silver bullets that will turn our lives upside down. And instead, start looking for small steps. What is one thing you can do to move yourself and your family in the direction you want to go? What small habit can you start today that will grow over time?
We tend to be an all or nothing culture, society teaches us that—we tend to be “go big or go home” people. So often, we have an all or nothing mentality, everything is big, bold, giant, leaps and bounds.
I challenge you to bring it back. And think smaller. If you want something to be different in your life you have to DO something different. And it doesn’t have to be big giant leaps and bounds. It is small steps. What CAN you do?
We get very caught up in what we can’t do—we will let that thought live in our head. We will hash it and rehash it in our mind. Instead, we have to learn to focus on what we can do. And then do something! Take a small step. You will be glad you did.
I have a saying I share with a lot of my audiences, and I want to leave it with you now. “If you will do one thing different every single day, you have the power to make every one of your tomorrows better than today.”
What one thing can you take from this blog, start with tomorrow and build on your own success?